retirement from practice a year ago, winter and summer, Bev shlepped her heavy equipment to
Northeast Ohio's private homes, assisted-living facilities, nursing homes, and other living sites,
communicating well for decades.
wearer of hearing aids. As her
hearing loss worsened, Bev grew
more dependent on her aids.
Now, without her aids, she can-
not participate in conversation
at normal distances and noise
level, even in quiet circum-
stances. Without her aids, she
cannot communicate in a noisy
environment at all. When she is
not wearing them, our home life
is very difficult.
communication skills of a person
without hearing loss.
HEARING LOSS
she has not inserted or is remov-
ing her aids at home. Every time.
isolation. When her aids are not
inserted, I know that to speak
with her I must go to where she
is, stand close to her so that we
are looking directly at each other
(I know, that is a bonus!), and
speak loudly. If she has some-
thing to say to me, she must
come to me. As we always have a
lot to talk about, there is a lot of
walking and climbing of stairs in
our house.
other normal married couples
where neither has a hearing loss.
we must do to communicate and
keep our marriage functioning.
HEARING LOSS AND SEEK
TREATMENT
· Does your spouse or friends
have a problem with your
hearing?
you understand everything
people are saying, or at least
the gist?
said to you? Keep count. Put a
quarter in a jar each time.
lost track or have misunder-
stood what it was about? Do
you sometimes contribute
only to realize that you have
gotten the context completely
wrong? Were you embar-
rassed?
"check out" of discussions and
stand there pretending to
hear?
you as much as before, and
you no longer share unimport-
ant funny little discussions?
to do something about your
hearing loss?
hearing loss?
If you recognize that several of
have a hearing loss, no matter
self or to your spouse.
yourself and becoming more
estranged from your spouse
and the rest of your friends and
family. And your refusal to seek
treatment to improve your family
communication situation is frus-
trating and angering your family,
and especially your spouse.
tired of this domestic situation,
being exhausted from the TV's
being constantly too loud, always
having to trek across the house
and up and down stairs and then
shouting at you just to get across
the simplest communications,
even those about your own
welfare. Eventually, although he
cares for you and loves you, it
becomes just too much work. He
will read or hear something in-
teresting, know it would interest
you, but it is just too hard to go to
where you are and communicate
it to you. So he stops doing it. A
vital part of your marriage, your
"marriage small talk," goes by the
board. Your marriage is the worse
for it, and you become more and
more isolated from one another.
ger loudly repeats conversations
to you. You have removed your-
self from the social lineup by not
treating your hearing loss.
damage it has caused and is still
causing, is your fault.
if you allow your family to nag
you go for help unwillingly, and
if you do then purchase hearing
aids, odds are you will not be a
successful hearing aid wearer.
The hearing professional will rec-
ognize that you probably will not
be a successful user, and may not
want to fit you with aids, being
pretty sure you will return them
for a refund after the profession-
al puts in a lot of time and effort
trying to help you.
communication problems, and
REALLY WANT to save the quality
of your marriage, and perhaps
your marriage itself. To regain that
loving relationship that you and
your spouse used to have before
you began to lose your hearing,
with a lot of communication,
you must take immediate action.
I urge you to seek treatment,
enthusiastically and with a good
heart and attitude. The result for
you and your spouse can be very
rewarding. I know, because I live
with a wonderful woman who
has taken care of her hearing loss,
and who has helped thousands
of others, as well.