THE EDITOR Letter from By Debby Zelman Rapoport E As the year comes to an end, think about your “story” and how you want the next chapter to read. Try to be at peace with the past and remember that each moment is a new choice. ach December, I take a few moments to reflect on the past year. I think about what happened over the past 12 months that was good, what was not so good, what I accomplished, what I put off, and so on. Everything in the past year, as in years prior, is a part of my story. 3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they never became whom they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. When reflecting back on life, people often realize the full benefits of old friends with whom they have lost touch. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip away over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Many people did not realize that happiness is a choice, and they stayed stuck in old patterns and habits because they were inside their comfort zone. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. Deep down, they longed to laugh and be silly. As the year comes to an end, think about your “story” and how you want the next chapter to read. Try to be at peace with the past and remember that each moment is a new choice. Wishing you a happy, healthy and safe holiday season. Whether or not we choose to publish our story, we each have one, and our daily decisions and choices all become a part of it. While reflecting, I also take time to re-evaluate and prioritize what’s really important when looking at the big picture, and an article that’s been circulating on the Internet comes to mind. A few years ago, Bronnie Ware recorded the most common regrets that her patients had while she was working as a palliative nurse. The list went viral on the Internet, and is now available in her book, “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.” Ware wasn’t surprised to see what made the list, since each item is reflective of things that touch our lives as we struggle to make time for things that we truly love. In addition to her list, she explains the importance of recognizing there is no need for regret, explaining that regret often allows the past to dictate how we should feel now. Instead, she suggests we use past experiences as reference points to understand the adjustments we would like to make moving forward. Here are the top five wishes people had toward the end of their lives: 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret, since people often look back on their lives and see the many dreams that went unfulfilled because of choices they had or had not made. They also realize that good health brings freedom – something that is often taken for granted until they no longer have it. 2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Since Ware was working with an older generation, this comment was more common among men. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship; and regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. December 2014 n Beachwood Buzz 3