Stuckness. What Does This Really Mean? Stuckness. What does this really mean? To be stuck, and how do we get unstuck? If we are making the same choices over and over again, having the same thoughts, conversations and struggles without achieving our desired change, (contentment, selfsatisfaction, healthy connection to ourselves and others), we need to try something different. First, state your desired change. To create change, you must first define and visualize what that change will look like. Acknowledge behaviors that are keeping you stuck (your actions, your self-talk, your choices). Notice the word “your.” Stuckness is about you, and no one else. Your thoughts and behaviors ultimately impact how you feel about yourself and your life. You must be accountable. If you are unhappy with your career, your relationships, your weight, or if you feel stuck in a rut, empower yourself to try something different. Practice self-awareness AND accountability. Self-awareness alone will not lead to change. Regardless of how you have always _____(ed), if it isn’t working, have the courage to recognize this truth without rationalizing or blaming others. Have the courage to try something different. Trying something different can feel overwhelming; it’s the the fear of the unknown, of chance of failure. Instead of viewing change through the lens of fear, try to view change through the lens of faith – in yourself. The lens of fear perpetuates stuckness: • Self-sabotaging behaviors • Self-criticism • Catastrophic thinking • Self-doubt • Belief in perfectionism • Avoidance The Lens of Faith empowers: Self-Motivation • Positive I-statements: I will try to do this. I can do this. I will do this. Gratitude Awareness • I am grateful for the ability to create change in my own life. I am grateful that I can support and encourage myself to try something different. Awareness of Effort • Today I will replace self-limiting beliefs with belief in my power to create change. by Jennifer Stern • Today I set a small goal and worked to achieve it (I called the doctor, I went for a walk, I signed up for an on-line class, I updated my resume, I made an appointment for marriage counseling, I cleaned out one drawer in my kitchen, I made an appointment to meet with a financial planner, I made an appointment with a career counselor, etc.). Trying something different is not about success or failure. It is about effort. It is about intentional awareness of who you want to be, the goals you want to accomplish, and how you want to feel in your life. Jennifer Stern, LISW, is a Loss and Bereavement Specialist at Ellen F. Casper, PH.D and Associates in Beachwood. For more information she can be reached at 216.464.4243. Duette® Honeycomb Shades We would love to help you get your home ready for the holidays! Call today to schedule your FREE consultation with our designer, Judy MacDonald at 440-720-0301. Fashionably early. Order your shades now and be ready for holiday parties. Plus, save $100 with rebates on select purchases of Hunter Douglas window fashions, now through 12/12/16. * *Manufacturer’s mail-in rebate offer valid for qualifying purchases made 9/17/16–12/12/16 from participating dealers in the U.S. only. For certain rebate-eligible products, the purchase of multiple units of such product is required to receive a rebate. If you purchase fewer units than the required multiple you will not be entitled to a rebate; partial rebates will not be awarded. Offer excludes HDOrigins and Nantucket™ Window Shadings, a collection of Silhouette® Window Shadings. Rebate will be issued in the form of a prepaid reward card and mailed within 6 weeks of rebate claim receipt. Funds do not expire. Subject to applicable law, a $2.00 monthly fee will be assessed against card balance 6 months after card issuance and each month thereafter. Additional limitations may apply. Ask participating dealer for details and rebate form. © 2016 Hunter Douglas. All rights reserved. All trademarks used herein are the property of Hunter Douglas or their respective owners. 22 Beachwood Buzz n October 2016