Beachwood Dating Coach Teaches Skills for Dating Over 50 A s much as the holiday season was joyful for many, it may have brought sadness and despair to some people who were alone. So many women believe joy will come when they find a great guy. Lisa Copeland, who coins herself as “The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50,” says it doesn’t work this way. The joy you radiate from within is what makes you attractive to the opposite sex. en how to get more dates with quality men, consistently and in record time, through workshops, products and private coaching. “Most women fail at online dating because they don’t have the skills for tapping into the accessible good guys and they don’t keep at it when the going gets rough,” she said. “Since my focus is on women over 50, my clients get no-nonsense expertise – along with some compassion, humor and encouragement – on what works when it comes to dating at this stage in life.” She stressed that people have to be in the right frame of mind to successfully date and build a relationship. When people break up, they need time to heal. “If you bring someone else into your life too soon, you’ll usually end up dating the same type of person with the same issues you just left in your last relationship. This is because you attract the same type of person over and over again since this is who feels really safe to you. That being said, someone who is different than your usual type is probably a better fit for you to successfully date and attempt a relationship. So what’s specific to over-50s dating? Copeland says: n Today, when a relationship doesn’t work out, people often remain friends. It’s not like high school days where you ignored each other after the breakup. Having male friends is a great way to be around the energy of the opposite sex when you’re not dating anyone. n Stop looking for perfection. Many daters are knocking good people out of the game based on silly things that really aren’t important in the big picture. At this stage of life, both men and women are looking for companionship and someone with whom to have fun and share life. n Give people a chance. Men must feel a spark immediately. Sometimes it takes women as many as four dates to feel the attraction. n Once in a relationship you can live together, live apart, or get married. Companionship and relationships are much different than they were when we were in our 20s. You now have many more choices! n Beware of scammers. When people are lonely, their profiles often show desperation, which can make them a target for being scammed for a lot of money by these thieves. n Arrange a “meet and greet” quickly. After 5-10 emails and no more than 2 phone calls, you want to set up a time to meet in person. If not, a phone or pen pal relationship, as well as an inaccurate mental image, may be created. When meeting someone new, go into the date with the intention of meeting someone new and interesting. There is no need to figure out your future with this person on your first date. n Be persistent. Don’t quit after meeting five people. Get back out there and keep dating. Get help if you find yourself frustrated or ready to quit. n Know what’s important to you about the person you want to share your life with. Do be clear about deal breakers that are critical to you, but have no more than 10, or you end up limiting the pool of choices. This leads you to think there is no one out there to date, which just isn’t true. n Men over 50 are chivalrous. Men do want to open doors, make you feel safe and protected, and pay when possible. The best thing you can do is to allow a man to be a man. A lot of women think men are women in men’s bodies. They are not. n Don’t nag. He will do whatever he’s willing to do and give what he can give, but if he’s not willing to do something, unless it’s critical to you, let it go. After two divorces and one online dating pitfall after another, Copeland felt like a failure. Deciding she needed help, she searched for a dating coach. “When dating in our 50s, we have different issues than we did in our 20s and 30s, and I didn’t feel a younger coach could relate as well,” Copeland told us. As a result, she did a lot of research and applied her newfound knowledge to her dating techniques. With practice and persistence, Copeland found that she was dating really great men; her calendar was full of dates, and friends began asking her for tips. When passing along her tips, her friends, too, began dating great guys and having fun, and Copeland felt she was on to something. That’s when she found her calling. “I didn’t want women to have to struggle as I did,” she said. “But everything happens for a reason, and my crazy dating experiences paid off because they put me right where I am now – teaching women how to find love again after 50.” According to Copeland, online dating is the best place to meet men over 50 because it’s one of the few places where singles congregate in large numbers with the same goal of meeting someone with whom to share their lives. Today, Copeland shows wom- “I didn’t want women to have to struggle as I did. But everything happens for a reason, and my crazy dating experiences paid off because they put me right where I am now – teaching women how to find love again after 50.” 20 Beachwood Buzz n January 2015