THE EDITOR Letter from By Debby Zelman Rapoport Just remember that until you believe in yourself, it will never matter what someone else says because the most important person doesn’t believe it – you. A long with the sunshine that arrives with spring comes more energy and mood improvements. While thinking about what we can do to maximize our good moods, keep in mind that our biggest disappointments arise because of misplaced expectations. This is especially true with relationships and interactions with others. Great expectations can wreak havoc on the reality of any relationship, so here is some food for thought to reduce unnecessary frustration by tempering our expectations. • Stop expecting others to agree with you. Each of us deserves to be happy, and to live an exciting life. We should strive to live up to our own expectations, not those of others. Neither should we feel that other people are on this earth to live up to our expectations. According to Catherine Pratt on www.Life-With-Confidence.com, one of the biggest obstacles to improving self-esteem is the constant need for approval by others. The more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you will need from everyone else. • Dare to be yourself. Follow you own intuition and don’t compare yourself to others. Follow your own path and stay true to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your time in the way you wish to spend it. • Stop expecting others to respect you more than you respect yourself. True strength is in the soul and spirit – it’s about having faith and trust in who you are and a willingness to act upon it. When thinking about the love, respect and attention that you want from others, remember that it is first important to show these qualities to yourself. While it is important to be nice to others, it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. • Self-love and self-respect Self-love and self-respect provide you with the tools to be happy – and when you are happy, you become a better friend, a better family member and a better you. • Always remember your worth. Stop expecting others to need and like you. You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another. Spend time with those who value you; avoid spending time with negative forces. • Love and respect others for who they are. When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate them for who they are. Life becomes much more enjoyable when we respect others for who they are instead of whom we want them to be. • Stop expecting others to know what you’re thinking. People are not mind readers. They don’t know how you feel until you tell them. When you effectively communicate, more things will go your way. • Don’t expect others to suddenly change. If you really need someone else to change something, be honest and share your feelings. Maybe they’ll understand your point of view and will want to change. But, overall, we can’t change people and shouldn’t try. Either accept them as they are or choose to live without them. When we support them for whom they want to be, we allow them the freedom to be who they are. • When communicating with others, hope for the best, but expect less. Expectations set us up for disappointment and our own happiness is directly proportional to our thoughts and how we choose to think about things. Even when a situation or relationship doesn’t work out the way we thought it would, it’s still worthwhile if it made you grow, feel good or taught you something new. Just remember that until you believe in yourself, it will never matter what someone else says because the most important person doesn’t believe it – you. June 2015 n Beachwood Buzz 3